


Count Chocula goes to the Store

by faffanutter



Series: Count Chocula Cinematic Universe [1]
Category: General Mills Corporation "Count Chocula" Commercials
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21737344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faffanutter/pseuds/faffanutter
Summary: Count chocula goes to the store
Series: Count Chocula Cinematic Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566700
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

One day in the september/autumn season Count Chocula went to the store. He was looking to buy himself some small umbrellas for his drinks. Count Chocula was an addict to anything with an umbrella. This is why he was not allowed to exist in any other season but fall. The beaches were never the same again before they enacted this law. 

As count chocula peered into the aisles His large nose tore up a lot of the shelves. He was very old so he had no care to clean up his messes. He always thought it was creating jobs. At last he finally found his precious small umbrellas. He grasped them in his gross ugly vampire hands. He came from a time before vampires fucked and it shows. 

As he went to go to check out for his one item he saw a thick bitch with ten boxes with his face on it. How could this be! An admirer? He hasn’t gotten any action in 30 years. Count Chocula went over to the unsuspecting bitch and sniffed her hair. She was instantly aroused. She spun around to see her icon in the flesh. “OMG!!! UR BAE AF FAM!!!” and then she jumped him. Count Chocula was traditional so he took her out to dinner first and then invited her back to his home. 

She pinned him on the bed and tried to put her womanhood on his vampirehood but a forcefield bounced her off. He was so old fashioned that he could not enter without permission. He asked her if he could enter and she said yes and then love was happened. 

The next morning count chocula woke up in a large bowl. The bitch was pouring milk all over him. Ah. True love. The last minutes of count choculas life was spent being crushed up by a cartoonishly large spoon. She ate all of him and moved on with her life. “See you next year” She thought.


	2. Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute meet n fuck game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its hard being retired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a lot more sexual if you couldn't tell from the title I don't know how to change the indecency rating once its part of a book. Enjoy

On a sunny afternoon in the relaunch of 2013, Yummy Mummy was taking a short stroll in the moonlight looking upon the world that had forgotten him in the past 21 years. So many things had changed. There was significantly more video games and gamers and it was disugting. A lot of people still passed by his cereal but that didnt much matter to him anymore. He was just interested in looking for somebody like him. Somebody else whos been forgotten. He felt so alone in the world. His bandages were even soggier than usual. 

He slapped himself so hard his arm came off. He shouldnt be such a downer. Not everybody gets to come back to life more than once. He knew it was time to use this life while he had it. He was going to become a slut. And he knew just the washed up cereal to call. 

Fruit Brute was miraculously revived the same year as the least fuckable cereal alive. This must be fate however. Fruit brute knew his destiny was set in stone as soon as he was revived. He ran as fast as his werewolf feet would allow directly to yummy mummys soggy side. They didnt have to say a word. Fruit Brute instantly tore yummy mummys clothes to shreds. He still had more bandages on mind you, but his genitals were out. Yummy mummy had an orange cream flavored member, not that fruit brute cared. There would be no dick sucking tonight because that is gay. 

Fruit brute pinned yummy mummy to a local tree and whipped out his cherry flavored cock and shoved it in yummy mummies unexpecting mouth. Uh oh. This was gay after all. Yummy Mummy could feel himself catching feelings as he caught the cherry flavor all over his mouth cavern. 

Frankenberry walked by and his mouth dropped off as he ran to go be a nark and tell the cereal police. Frankenberry was always the worst nark in the world. He secured the discontinuations of them both the next year. 

Neither fucking cereals could care. They were trying to make up for the lost time of being dead and as long as they got off one more time they would die with no regrets. The fruit brute eventually shot his goo into mummys mouth and then plunged into his yummy candy ass. It had one of those scary hands some of those halloween bowls have where they grab your hand and its scary and it grabbed onto fruit brutes dick and you think thatd be super scary but it wasnt and he was super into it!! It made him fuck him WAY harder. Yummy mummy was TOTALLY into it until the werewolf tried to knot him with his double cherry and then yummy mummy completely shattered into thanos sort of dust. Fruit brute moved on with his life and moved into a condo in seattle to forget him until he died in 2014.


	3. Booberry does his best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Booberry :pensive:

Booberry was spending a casual day in the berry household. Booberry was wearing a blue bathrobe and eating some blueberry jam on his blueberry bagel. This was the good life for him. He didnt care much for fame or recognition unlike his older brother frankenberry. It was a known fact that Frankenberry was the ugliest living cereal and easily forgettable and shook frankenberry to his strawberry flavored corn cereal bits. 

Frankenberry trudged down the purple stairs of their shared purple home. He looked out the window to see the empty homes of cereals that have been discontinued. They all used to live in the same neighborhood together until their lack of popularity got some of them killed. Nobody dared live in the houses out of fear of them failing by association. Then frankenberry looked up to the hill where all the successful cereals lived. Toucan Sam, Tony tiger, Trix rabbit, and count chocula when the season was right. Count Chocula was nowhere near as popular as the rest of them but all the bigwigs loved him anyways. It just wasnt fair. He thought he was just as good as them.

Booberry saw his brothers fist clenching as he was glaring out the window again. Frankenberry does this at least three times a week, but this time he seemed worse than usual. Booberry interrupted his cozy morning and walked over to Frankenberry to take his hand in solidarity. But this only made Frankenberry more upset. Even his own little brother was more respected than him. It just wasn’t fair. Frankenberry looked over to those empty homes again and hatched a horrible scheme. He suddenly had a horrible smile on his face. Booberry was extremely worried. 

“Brother, whatever you think you should do, I cannot allow it. Please think it out a while longer. Maybe Count Chocula and the rest dont accept you because youre too jealous. I dont think its about popularity.” Frankenberry couldn’t understand how booberry could always be content with mediocrity. “Boob, youre too young to understand how I feel. I see them mocking me up on their ivory tower, somebody has to take them down.” Far before booberry was born chocula and franken were always fighting over who was better. It is time for the squabbling to end.

Frankenberry took his umbrella off the rack and went outside. He took a stroll up the hill to all the people who have rejected him. “Hello frankenberry!” Said trix rabbit, tony tiger, and cocoa puff bird. Shit. he wasnt expecting that. He ran back down the hill and hid in his house. 

“How did it go” Asked booberry. Snarkily. Frankenberry was so mad. He went for booberrys throat but couldnt grab it since he was a ghost. Booberry probably wouldve died ten times now if not for being a ghost. Booberry instead went inside frankenberry and possessed him. “We are going to teach you some manners” Said booberry into frankenberrys mind. 

They went back up the hill and all the cereals said hello again. Booberry made frankenberry shake all their hands and ask how they were doing. “Oh we are all doing just fine and dandy! Where have you been though, we havent seen you in ages!” Frankenberry wanted to cry but booberry was rattattoille up in this bitch. Booberry answered with a “Oh sorry ive just had to do my taxes and im crippled by my inferiority complex. All the cereals laughed as if it was a joke. 

Count chocula said “Well i would have a complex too if my cereal wasnt the most delicious of the monsters. But how can i be insecure when i have chocolate sweeties!!” Frankenberry snapped. Booberry shot out of his body. Frankenberry was gone sicko mode. He started windmilling his fists at count chocula but all the other cereals protected him. Trix rabit didnt stand a chance but tony tiger hit him so hard he rolled back down the hill. “That wasnt grrrreat” he sadly remarked. 

Booberry said goodbye to all the cereals and flew down to his brothers side. He had lost a nut and some of his stitching but he was overall ok except emotionally. Booberry slung frankenberry’s arm around his shoulder, and he fell to the ground again, so booberry ended up dragging his brother home. One day we’ll get past just the formalities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this a few months ago when it was more relevant and i really dont want to read it when its christmas right now its gonna mess up my vibes


	4. Count Chocula goes to Hollywood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> count chocula goes to hollywood

Count Chocula has been around a lot of years. Hes met a lot of different vampire figures in his life. The media has always been fascinated with whatever lore they could come up with. Though one season in 2009 it seemed like everything had changed. People were less fascinated in Count Chocula when he went to the store. 

One day while count chocula was lounging at home watching TV he saw an article in the news about “New Moon.” The news was blathering on about how a werewolf and vampire were fighting over a human woman, but all he saw was humans. Sexy humans. He didn’t understand. He was gonna go to hollywood to set things straight. 

Count Chocula took his dark chocolate brown convertible car https://previews.123rf.com/images/deusexlupus/deusexlupus1803/deusexlupus180300152/97792290-dark-chocolate-brown-convertible-car-top-down-view.jpg and drove an undetermined amount of hours off to hollywood. He was let right into the studios of the filming of new moon because he is a vampire and nobody can stop him and also people love the chocolate sweeties of count chocula so they said he could come in. 

Count Chocula watched as they were filming some scene involving working on cars, it was uninteresting since it was with the boy and the girl he had no interest in. He saw the so called vampire just sitting around watching, and he knew this was his chance. Count chocula stole a chair and placed it directly next to the “vampire” boy. He stuck out his hand and told the lad his name. The lad shook his hand and said “Hello, my name is edward cullen.” 

“Hello Nword collin. Are you a vampire?” inquired the count. Edwin seemed to chuckle to himself and then replied “Why yes I am, I can clearly tell you are too with my vampire senses.” Count chocula was fascinated. “You are unlike any vampire I have ever seen before. Do you have a sense to see who else is a vampire? What else are your powers?” 

Edward responded, “Well I am super fast, super strong, super hearing, super cool, I can read peoples minds but thats only me, and I don’t burn in the sunlight, and i can drink animals blood instead of humans.” Count Chocula was enamored. 

“Wow! I don’t burn in the sunlight either, and I have no need for blood when i have a nice bowl of milk, But I do not have many powers aside from that. I cannot believe hollywood is so accepting of sexy young vampires!” Edward blushed he was not used to praise especially about his vampire powers. 

“Would you like to go to lunch with me?” Inquired Edward. Count chocula nodded enthusiastically. He took edward out in his dark chocolate brown convertible car https://previews.123rf.com/images/deusexlupus/deusexlupus1803/deusexlupus180300152/97792290-dark-chocolate-brown-convertible-car-top-down-view.jpg and they went to a hollywood   
restarurant in hollywood because thats where they were.

The vampires chatted about their pasts in the spotlight and the people theyve gotten to work with. They joked about how werewolves are impossible to work with and how delicious human women are. They shared a root beer float together, but they were too shy to look into eachothers eyes. After a hearty lunch they came up with a funny scheme. They called Jacob Black to get him in on it as well. 

They went back into the studio where a scene with both jacob and edward, but to the directors surprise his sexy teen dreams were not in the shot. It was instead a crusty brown cartoonish vampire and a gray wolf howling about cookie cereal into bellas ear. 

Count Chocula and Cookie Crisp were having the time of their lives. After fruit brute died cookie crisp has been the closest thing to a werewolf the count has known. They were acting their heart out to a very confused bella, edward and jacob tied up the director so they could see the whole thing play out. Very soon after count chocula leaned in to kiss bella, both cereals were kicked out of hollywood. Edward and Jacob got along way better for the rest of the twilight series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized all of these say theyre m/f i made such a big error in putting these as a chapter thing but they all weave together its important to read them all together for context im sorry if anybody wanted to read these for the m/f content and got werewolf sex instead


	5. Birthday party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brithday party!!!

It was Count Choculas birthday today, he has been a cereal for a lot of years and everybody was going to celebrate his chocolate sweeties. Tony the tiger and Cookie Crisp were preparing the party up in Trix’s house. They were going to have a hot tub full of milk, and Toucan sam was going to be the DJ. They were also going to do a sweeties tasting of everybodys different marshmallows from their cereals. Lucky Charm was always happy to do one of those. 

Count Chocula was eagerly awaiting his party, he was dressed to the nines in his fancy chocolate brown tuxedo and top hat. His friends always threw the best parties.

Frankenberry was being bitter back at the berry household. It was also his birthday but nobody up in the hills of cereal fame were throwing HIM a party. Brother booberry came to his side with a party popper, a strawberrry flavored cupcake with strawberry sweeties, and a small birthday gift with a self help book inside. Frankberry shed a small tear of joy and pretended to embrace booberry, since he wouldve fell through him otherwise.

The party was finally now and count chocula was taken to the party on one of lucky charms’s’s rainbows. It was full of all of his cool friends even honey smacks and quisp. He wasn’t generally a fan of any cereal that wont make children immediatley obese but they were there for him on day one. Even some newer friends like Krave were there. Krave couldn’t speak english but its enthusiasm could not be ignored. It was immediatley in the milky hot tub as soon as it arrived. 

All the cereals had a great time dancing with eachother and exchanging marshmallow cereals with eachother. Count Chocula cut a rug with cocoa puff, one of his favorites of the chocolate representatives in cereal. They glided effortlessly on the dance floor, they’ve danced with eachother for as long as he can rememeber. They won countless competitions when they were younger, but this was an innocent and free expression of joy. 

When everybody was tired of dancing they all gathered into the hot milk tub to talk about how the year has gone and work and stuff. Lucky charm had been taking his divorce hard but he found support among his friends and was working to make himself sweeter. Tony the Tiger was trying to commit insurance fraud but he was having trouble getting it started. The usual banter.

All of a sudden everybody wondered where Krave was. They couldve sworn he never left the tub. Then it all became very clear. Count chocula felt something bite off his foot. Now he remembered. Krave was a cannibal to his own kind, and count chocula was a perfect genetic match to what he wanted to eat. At least Count Chocula died surrounded by friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote so many of these. i hope youre liking them


	6. Beach Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I assume they go to the beach

Booberry knew that this was the year to bring together the remaining monster cereals. After the redeaths of yummy mummy and fruit brute in 2014 Boobery realized how important a community is. None of them ever knew what year the population might decide theyre no longer important or delicious. He decided to hatch a scheme to reunite them all again.

He sent Count Chocula a letter to come to the beach at the next thunderstorm, and he dragged him and his brother to the beach when that occurred. 

At the beach it was a nice and stormy day. Count chocula had shown up and he was living for this weather. He brought his cool dude sunglasses and a beach umbrella. Thunderstorms were the only time he was allowed at the beach due to his obsessions. Frankenberry also lived for this weather because he liked being struck by lightning. This was the perfect beach day. 

When count chocula and frankenberrys eyes met you could feel the tension between them. Booberry got between them and tossed up a beach ball. “Lets play monkey in the middle! Ill be the monkey” he proclaimed. Frankenberry got the beach ball first and then hit it as hard as possible into count choculas nose, which popped it immediately. Booberry was sad. Count Chocula put one of his marhsmallows into his mouth until it was movable and he used it to seal back up the beach ball. 

He then tossed it back to frankenberry. Count Chocula had no real grudge against Frankenberry besides when Frankenberry decided to act all crazy like this, which is what hes been doing for the past how many years. Frankenberry was furious that Count Chocula was acting so cool about this. It made him hit the ball even harder, but it struck booberry, or it wouldve if he werent a ghost, and it flew directly into the ocean. The marshmallow seal broke and the ball was deflated again.

“Frankenberry what the FUCK is your DEAL” exclaimed count Chocula. Frankenberry just stared in shock at his brother that he almost hit. “I-I don’t know anymore. I used to be jealous of how you were skyrocketing to fame. But now im just not sure what I am mad about. Strawberry sweeties are best no contest, but it is not worth being mad about for this long. I am sorry Count Chocula.” Count Chocula was set back by his kind words. 

“Well actually, chocolate sweeties are far superior, just ask the people, but I agree that no petty grudge should keep us monster cereals apart. After the gain and loss of yummy mummy and fruit brute i feel like my family is shrinking. I do not want to lose you too.”

Booberry had gotten the beachball and brought it back,”This was exactly my goal for bringing you two together. I am glad you both agree, now lets get back to the game.” Booberry possessed the beach ball and the count and franken had a great day at the beach.

As they walked home together they were discussing their different sweety ideas and what if they did collabs with their cereals. What if they had count chocula with blueberry and strawberry sweeties. The possibilities were endless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. Thank you for taking this ride

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago because a friend asked me. It is a series. Hope you enjoyed


End file.
